Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Keep it together Shelbie
It's wicked cold outside today, like 23 degrees with a wind chill to make it feel like 5 degrees. BrrRR! I still love this time of year especially since Christmas is only a week and a half away. As I try to enjoy this season, I have Logan on my mind. Next year this time, he will be back in Iraq (as if the man hasn't seen that damned placed enough) and alone, without his wife and boys to keep him in good spirits. I feel absolutely guilty. GUILTY that we get to be with all the ones who love us, spending time with my boys who have seen deployments before but don't think too much about it because Grandma and Papa are so busy loving them, along with Aunt Shaunna and Aunt Cherish who adore them. Why is this so unfair? Logan is one of the strongest men I know. He hurts but doesn't show it. He is scared and I wouldn't know it by the way he hides his feelings. So, here we are once again, T-minus 30 days and the love of my life will be half way across the world for an absurd amount of time. I guess the one thing I can look forward to is the feeling of his embrace when he returns. The falling in love all over again. The reconnection between a man and his children. Us together again as one. Bare with me ya'll, you are coming along with me on this crazy journey that's called DEPLOYMENT. Argh.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
An explanation to my frustration
I can't seem to stop thinking about how hard I have worked to get into the nursing program. I have worked my butt off and although so many people ask why I have yet to finish, I refuse to let that get to me. I guess if they don't understand the process we have to go through, they will never know. I wish it was easier but the fact of the matter is, it isn't.
After I had my first born, Brennen, I realized what a blessing it was to have such an amazing nurse who helped me deliver him. I mean, I was only 19 years-old and just a baby myself but decided to still become a parent even though I hadn't a single clue as to how to be one. Shayla was her name, my nurse, and she explained every single feeling and emotion I would experience that day. She told me what procedures would be done for when it came time to do them. She held my hand when I was scared to push. She reassured me everything was going the way it was suppose to. She smiled at me when she saw how excited I was to see Brennen for the first time. It was like at that very moment, she knew exactly what I needed and I am forever thankful for her on that day. That experience is what led me into the nursing field. I wanted to help people, women, like Shayla helped me. So here I am today, 8 years later and I have yet to complete this goal of mine but I guarantee you this, it will be done. =)
After struggling as first time parents, Logan and I both decided that the Army would be a much better life, a more stable life than what we had. I still believe that to this day but have to remind myself that becuase we chose this for our family, my education has become second best. Every time I feel like I am on a good "flow" of classes, something always comes up and messes with me. =/ I am not saying I regret our decision to take on this "Army life" of ours, but DANG, I just want finish school already.
Another year has passed and I am still waiting to get accepted into a program. Since being stationed here in Fort Bragg, I have come to realize how different every state is when it comes to prereqs required to enter in. So, once again I complete more classes to suffice these East Coast crazies...lol. October came and I have applied to the program closest to me except I decided this year to apply to another program that is a little bit further away but at least give myself the benefit of two schools acceptances rather than one. The process actually begins in February where the auditors review my application along with all classes that are needed to graduate, besides the core classes themselves. That is where the most important step is taken, i either am placed into a Cat 1 or Cat 2. Category 1 gives me the best chance to be accepted and that is where the auditors go over every class and the grade I recieved. An example would be say Microbiology, which here in NC is a 4 credit hour course and since I got an A in that class, I get 4 points for every credit hour it's worth, so 16 points I will recieve. If I had recieved a B in that class, I could only get 3 points for every credit hour...a C would be 2 points and so on. I'm sure you get the point. This year, the school has a max points available of 104 and I am at a 104. =) So i really do hope that 2011 will be my year and come May, I will get this beautiful letter in the mail that is requesting my acceptance into their program. We shall see and I do hope to keep ya'll updated on that.
P.S. Sorry for the scatter-brained writing but a million things are on my mind.
After I had my first born, Brennen, I realized what a blessing it was to have such an amazing nurse who helped me deliver him. I mean, I was only 19 years-old and just a baby myself but decided to still become a parent even though I hadn't a single clue as to how to be one. Shayla was her name, my nurse, and she explained every single feeling and emotion I would experience that day. She told me what procedures would be done for when it came time to do them. She held my hand when I was scared to push. She reassured me everything was going the way it was suppose to. She smiled at me when she saw how excited I was to see Brennen for the first time. It was like at that very moment, she knew exactly what I needed and I am forever thankful for her on that day. That experience is what led me into the nursing field. I wanted to help people, women, like Shayla helped me. So here I am today, 8 years later and I have yet to complete this goal of mine but I guarantee you this, it will be done. =)
After struggling as first time parents, Logan and I both decided that the Army would be a much better life, a more stable life than what we had. I still believe that to this day but have to remind myself that becuase we chose this for our family, my education has become second best. Every time I feel like I am on a good "flow" of classes, something always comes up and messes with me. =/ I am not saying I regret our decision to take on this "Army life" of ours, but DANG, I just want finish school already.
Another year has passed and I am still waiting to get accepted into a program. Since being stationed here in Fort Bragg, I have come to realize how different every state is when it comes to prereqs required to enter in. So, once again I complete more classes to suffice these East Coast crazies...lol. October came and I have applied to the program closest to me except I decided this year to apply to another program that is a little bit further away but at least give myself the benefit of two schools acceptances rather than one. The process actually begins in February where the auditors review my application along with all classes that are needed to graduate, besides the core classes themselves. That is where the most important step is taken, i either am placed into a Cat 1 or Cat 2. Category 1 gives me the best chance to be accepted and that is where the auditors go over every class and the grade I recieved. An example would be say Microbiology, which here in NC is a 4 credit hour course and since I got an A in that class, I get 4 points for every credit hour it's worth, so 16 points I will recieve. If I had recieved a B in that class, I could only get 3 points for every credit hour...a C would be 2 points and so on. I'm sure you get the point. This year, the school has a max points available of 104 and I am at a 104. =) So i really do hope that 2011 will be my year and come May, I will get this beautiful letter in the mail that is requesting my acceptance into their program. We shall see and I do hope to keep ya'll updated on that.
P.S. Sorry for the scatter-brained writing but a million things are on my mind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
